(picked by me!)
Brent, along with
Scott and Mike, were
painting the trim on
our house. When
Brent came down the
ladder on the side of
the house, he told his
dad that the tree
stunk and we should
get rid of it. But he
had stepped in the
neighbor's dog poop
and had gone up and
down the ladder,
spreading the joy!
(picked by Brent!)
While Mike was at the
casino with friends, he
ran into Amy and Bart.
introduced Bart as
"Rick" (her 2nd
husband). When Amy
corrected him, he leaned
over to his friends and
said, "Don't call him Jim
either, that's all of her
2009 Winner--Scott! (picked by Mike!) Scott was the winner of this year's Dumb Shit Award for
destroying Joe's computer (thinking it was the old computer he was trying to destroy before
throwing away). Joe accepted on his behalf.
Other nominations include: Scott brought back dad's tree trimmer he borrowed. When he got it out of the car, he grabbed it by the top and it started to extend. He said, "Oh shit, I didn't know it extended. I got my ladder out when I trimmed the trees."
Joe called grandpa to see if he wanted to go to the Anderson playoff game at Nippert Stadium that night. Joe showered quickly and took off for the 8:00 pm game. The only problem was, it was actually a 2:00 game. Scott tried called Joe, who had his phone off. So he drove all the way to our house for no reason. Scott submitted this plus one more. He nominated Mike for throwing away his teeth!
Coni wrote: Christopher was attending Burner Tech classes in Rockford, Illinois. Every morning, the place had donuts, danishes, fruit, etc. for them to eat before class. After two days of eating donuts, he thought he would try one of their large cinnamon buns. After about the third bite, he knew it wasn't tasting right and with that, he realized the plastic wrapper was still on the bun! Then trying to be inconspicuous, he went to throw it away and realized the Japanese people who were also attending were giggling and giving him funny looks. He exited quickly and went to class. To this day, he won't attempt to eat a cinnamon bun!
2010 Winner--Sher! (picked by Scott!)
Sher won this year after Amy sent this:
"The day before her Kid Rock Cruise, Jim, Sher, her friend Dawn, and Dawn's boyfriend were sitting in a bar in Tampa and the bartender tells them that Kid is coming to the bar. Dawn's boyfriend pays the bartender to make sure Sherry meets him. OK, this is where the dumb ass comes in. Sherry waits until all of 11:30 to meet him, and gives up and goes to bed, thinking he isn't coming!!! He is a rock star....HELLO!!! He showed up at this place at 12:30, signed autographs, played with the band, and met the few people there. So my question is: If you paid for a cruise just to spend your 50th birthday to meet your idol, wouldn't you hang around a little later than 11:30 to meet him personally, in a way you won't on the cruise??? This wasn't a hunch that he was coming--they knew he was. Shit, I'd stay up til midnight just to meet him and I don't even like him... Dumbass!!"
Other nominations included:
Hank, who played a $25 slot machine in error; Joe who wanted to use a 5 for $5.95 Arby's coupon when they had a 5 for $5 sale; Amanda B. For
calling 911 when dog-sitting for Aunt Sher & Uncle Jim because the dogs kept moving around and activating night lights; Chris D. for willing joining this crazy family!
2011 Winner--Katie! (picked by Sher!)
Katie won by telling this story on herself:
Grandma Sandi had given me flowers for my
house warming gift and she had put them on
my dining room table, where she thought they'd look nice. Days later, I was passing by on my way out the door to work and I noticed the water level was low. I quickly put water in them and proceeded out the door. WEEKS later, my friend Kayla was over, who might I add, worked in a flower shop for 3 years. She
walked by my dining room and fell on the floor laughing and I could not figure out why... she finally gasp for air and said, "You blond! You put water in a vase of fake flowers!"
2012 Winner--Jennifer! (picked by Katie!)
Nominated by Amy & Aly: Jennifer decided to get a tanning package to get a head start on her vacation. They asked her if she wanted a stand-up bed or a normal one so she decided to do the stand-up. They told her to set the timer for six minutes the first day and seven the second day. When she got home on the second day, she asked Dan if she looked tan. He said no.
The third day she went in and was heading to her normal bed and she looked into one where the door was open and wondered why it looked so different than hers. She went into hers and looked around. She saw a small door handle so she opened it and lo and behold, there was the tanning bed!!! The dumb girl had been undressing and spinning around naked in the dressing room for two days!!!
She said on the second day (before she discovered the real tanning room), she saw a tiny beam of light that was up about six feet (turns out it was the top crack of the door where the bulbs were shining through) so she was standing naked with her arms out to her side staring at the little beam!
Congratulations Jennifer on receiving the 2012 Dumb Shit Award! Aunt Sher accepted your award for you.
Other nominations include:
Me: (Nominated by the entire Hannig family): I walked through (and knocked down) Scott and Tammy's screen door. It looked open to me!
Scott: (Nominated by Julia): Julia had three new Girl Scout badges for Julia's sash. Scott had thrown away earlier badge instructions but thought he remembered. He ironed and ironed but they wouldn't stick. After Tammy asked the den mother for a copy of the iron-on instructions, she was told that the badges needed to be sewn on!
Hank: (Nominated by me): We get mailers from the local casinos but we prefer Hollywood. However, we get more promo money from Belterra. So grandpa called his casino host named Amy. She had sent him a card and said to call anytime he need anything. We wanted to spend the night at Hollywood for my birthday. He left her a message stating that he gets $70 in play money from Belterra but only $25 from Hollywood. Could Hollywood up their comps for him? He also said that we got free rooms from Belterra so would Hollywood match or beat their comps? She didn't return his call that day so he was a little ticked. The next day, I saw the card Amy had mailed to him and guess what? She worked for Belterra! I called her and told her the whole story and she couldn't stop laughing. I then proceeded to tell her about our Dumb Shit Award. She comped our overnight stay at Belterra and even threw in an extra $50 worth of food.
Me (myself): Our fax machine ran out of paper as a fax was coming through. I loaded paper in it but it didn't work. I tried one piece, I tried five pieces, I tried a bunch. Nothing. I shut it down and restarted it. Nothing. So I emailed the person who was faxing and asked her to email me all the documents (which of course she had to scan or convert) but she did. Finally the next day the light bulb went on. I had been putting the paper where you load your fax documents instead of the paper loading tray!
Will: (Nominated by Scott): Will was watching at the front door for the school bus since it was very cold. Upon seeing the bus, he had to 'haul ass' down the street to make it. He slammed the door and took off. The only problem was that he slammed the door so hard that it popped back open! Luckily, he was not the last person to leave the house so his error was discovered by me.
Other nominations include:
Sher herself: She left her house two days in a row without her purse!
Brad: "I volunteered to get tased!"
Joe: He made a bet with his dad and was so sure of his bet that he bet his entire paycheck and lost!
Chris D: (submitted by Katie): "Our puppy Chance woke us to (he had been sick from eating our Christmas tree). Chris thought his alarm went off for work so he let Chance out, got a shower, and starting getting ready for work. He then grabbed his cell phone and saw that it was only 2:30 am!"
Hank: (nominated by me!) "He got a phone call from his sister Barb. She asked him if he had made a money withdrawal from his bank recently. He replied that he had and they discussed the amount. She then said, Well, you took the money out of your mother's account and not yours. She is in tears thinking somebody is stealing her money!"
Me myself: "For the past month, our bathtub was draining very slowly. I added Drano. Nothing. I added Liquid Plumber. Nothing. I poured at least 4 bottles of the stuff down this drain. Upon Mike's advice, I was going to buy a wire hook. However, before I got to buy one, I was cleaning the bathtub and while cleaning the lever, it went down and all the water drained out! It had been sort of down just not all the way down!"
2014 Winner--Will! (Picked by Jennifer!)
Nominated by Scott: Our family was around the Chicago area for a 50th anniversary celebration. We stayed the night at a hotel that had a
self-service continental breakfast area where you could make waffles, cereal, bagels, biscuits and gravy, etc. Since the waffle iron is so hot, Julia
asked her big brother Will to make her a waffle and he obliged. He poured in a few big ladle fulls and closed the lid when he finished. His cousin pointed out the fact that he;'d just filled the waffle iron with sausage gravy instead of the batter!
Other nominations include:
Aly I get a lot of headaches so I take a lot of Tylenol. Thankfully I had a CVS next door so I could go get a new bottle of it. I had been taking the CVS brand of Tylenol for over a week and was feeling so exhausted, which of course made the headaches worse. I was fighting to stay awake while driving and while sitting at my desk at work. One day, one of the women at work asked me for a Tylenol, and when I pulled out the bottle, I finally looked at it and realized it was the CVS brand of Tylenol PM!
Tom (Nominated by Nancy) On 2/12/13, PaPa said, Oh wow, this is Lincoln's birthday. Has anyone said anything? What are we doing? Why haven't we heard anything about it?" I said Lincoln was born in August. And he said, "I have it right here on my calendar--Lincoln's Birthday." I gave him that 'holy crap look' and said "Abe." He said that I looked like I wanted to add "you idiot." Actually, I did!
We will be presenting the Dumb Shit Award at the annual Buening Golf Outing every year. For 2015, please send your nomination to Will Hannig: firstname.lastname@example.org
2015 Winner--Hank! (Picked by Will!)
Nominated by me: On July 28th, the reminder for Tom’s birthday popped up on the computer when Hank/Grandpa was home but I was at Coney. I knew we would sing to him when I got home. And when I got home, I said to Hank/Grandpa, “Remind me to call my brother later this afternoon.” Hank/Grandpa said, “It popped up on the computer so I called MY brother Tom and sang to him on his voice mail!”
Other nominations include:
Hank (Nominated by me) On June 6th when we were going to surprise Terry the Barber, we arrived in three cars—the girls in one car, Joe & Harper in another car, and Grandpa with the other four boys in his car. We all gathered outside the shop so we could go in together when Tammy noticed that Hank had left his keys in the car with the motor still running! I guess he was a bit anxious to get the party started!
Sher (Nominated by Nancy) When Sher pulled her brand new car into the garage, she closed the garage door right on her car! Her new car, of
course, was longer than her old car!
Brooke (Nominated by Katie) Not sure of all the details but I think she wiped her face with her own pooh! Will wanted to give her the award but figured she didn't have an email account to accept nominations for 2016!
2016 Winner--Scott! Picked by Hank!
Scott put the lawnmower in Tammy’s car to cut her mom’s lawn. On the way home, he opened all the car windows because it was so nice
outside! There was grass everywhere!
Other nominations include:
Joe (nominated by Tammy) When Joe & Hope left Brooke’s 3rd birthday party, he knocked over the fire hydrant at when backing up. Chris then laid it the other way so it looked like somebody knocked it over from the street and not the driveway.
Nancy (self-nominated) Nancy saw a black man from her neighborhood at the grocery and said to him “I haven’t seen you in a coon’s age.”
Me (self-nominated) We got a new refrigerator. After the installer left and the ice was made, I kept pressing the pictures of the ice-water-crushed ice and could only get water. I didn’t know you had to push the one that SAID Ice / Water! I figured it out.
Julia (nominated by Tammy) Julia makes terrific pancakes so she was going to make them for Scott for his 50th birthday. After she poured the batter on the griddle into the shapes of a 5 and an 0, I brought my camera over to take a picture. I noticed that she had neglected to turn on the stove! So she turned it on and when they were ready to flip over, they stuck to the griddle! I couldn’t figure out why because before she poured the batter, she asked if she should spray it with Pam first and we both said YES! She forgot!
Joe (nominated by Tammy) Joe was nice enough to volunteer to cut Will's hair. It actually turned out very nice, as soon as Tammy told him to turn the clippers around the correct way.
2017 Winner--Amy! Picked by Scott!
Nominated by Sher: Amy was drunk and trying to unblock their new gun safe! It was on Christmas and after midnight. She tried to put the code in but had put the keys in for safe keeping. Guess what happened? The code didn't work and the keys were locked in the safe so they had to get a new one. I'm here to supervise the new safety code!
Other nomination include:
Bart (self-nominated): I'm not sure how to submit, because I've never done it. But I would like to nominate myself. I jumped in the swimming pool to play with Franklin and after five minutes I wondered why my bathing suit was so heavy. I reached in my bathing suit pocket and pulled out my cell phone. The deductible for the phone insurance was $150 so swimming with Franklin that day was $30 per minute... totally worth every penny!
Hank (nominated by Sandi: Every night that they draw numbers for Powerball and Mega Millions, I write them down on a post-it note and take the note upstairs. In the morning, Hank checks them against his tickets. One morning, he got dressed and came downstairs early and got the paper. He sat down at the computer and for some reason, got on the lottery web site to check the numbers. Instead of pulling out his ticket, he pulled out my post-it note, which of course had the same numbers as the computer web site. He thought he had won millions! He wanted to wake me up but thought it was too early! It took him about 2 minutes to discover his sad mistake!
Uncle Jim (nominated by Sher):
Jim “lost” his prescription glasses while on the golf course for the family golf outing. After many calls to the club house, he went and spent hundreds of dollars to get new ones only to find them in my car (where I didn’t put them) after 2 months!
Tom (nominated by Sher): My dad called Amy's cell & talked to her for about 2 minutes. Tthen I took the phone from her and just continued the conversation. He didn't know it was me until I called him a dumb shit!
Sherry picking up the award for Amy!